Well, this is my second time writing this post, I had an issue saving it and lost my draft. I satrted the last one by saying 'I don't know how to start' but this time I feel like I have an idea.
I'll start with how today went, J and I went out to a few places to I could scope out the vibe, and I also got information about some groups and concerts I may want to check out. I had a good time, even though it was a bad autism day, I was able to regulate and move on without my whole day being ruined. I also found a coffee shop that is open late that I can chill at and work on my laptop and stuff and maybe meet people. All in all, it was a good day, and I owe most of that to Dr. Devon Price, and his book Unlearning Shame.
Theres not any particular quotes that stand out to me, other than the one about losing 2 cup sizes after starting T (a guy can hope) but I still feel like the book changed me. Whats wonderful about Dr. Price's writing is that most of this was not new information to me, it was just presented in a way that made it so much easier to adapt, even the proposed alternative for Systemic Shame, Expansive Recognition, was something I had already begun to adopt in my own life, though not under any name per-se.
Expansive Recognition is, put in simple terms, putting everyone into the context of their lives, the experiences they've lived, the relationships they've had, and recognizing all these things when interacting with someone, everyone is a product of their environment. For example, your neighbor probably isn't mad at you, his knee probably just hurts because it's going to rain soon, and thats why hes grumpy. Expansive Recognition is, in its ideal state, a globalization of that concept, recognizing everyone as they are for who they are, in their context, its the recognition that your expiriences aren't unique, you share every single one with billions of people over millions of years, nothing is unthinkable or unspeakable.
Systemic Shame, on the other hand, is giving a name to the use of shame as a tool of social control, not a new concept by any means, and one, you could argue, the british perfected. Shame is a widely used tool for colonization, and for good reason, its effective.
Both this book and Unmasking Autism are amazing books, and I'm expecting the same of Laziness Does Not Exist. I don't think I will ever stop reccomending this book, if you ever have a chance to read it I highly reccoment it. Its incredibly approachable, and wonderfully freeing, I feel like I've been given permission to let myself off the hook, it has also made it easier to redierect anxiety and shame spirals. It did however make me cry, a lot, though they were good, healthy tears. This book has renewed my hope, and given me refreshed resolve, I feel freed to do the things I've been putting off for so long because of fear and shame, and I've already had several really good and desperately needed conversations I had been putting off due to shame and fear.
I've already started I Survived Capitalism and All I Got was This Lousy T-shirt and it starts off very heavy, though I should have expected it, I'm very excited to read it.
Also I can't write a whole blog post about shame and undoing the harm of shame without mentioning Black Sails, so heres the obligatory mention, watch Black Sails.
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