So, I started tesosterone today, low dose gel, it's been about 12 hours since I took my first dose. Within the first hour I already felt different, more myself, but that could just be placebo. The changes I expect to see in the first couple months is minimal, voice starting to drop, body hair starting to come in thicker, bottom growth, feeling hungry all the time, feeling more tired, or sleep changes, hot flashes, and an increase in libido. The changes I'm most excited for is facial hair growth and voice changes. I recorded the obligatory 'this is my voice 1 day on T' video earlier, and (again, this could be a placebo) I already feel like my voice is slightly deeper.
In preperation for starting T I read through a lot of reddit threads about what to expect, one comment talked about pre-T their brain had a constant background static, and when they started that quieted down, and, like, I didn't realize that I had that static until it dissapeared, it feels like the right hormones are in my body now, this is awesome.
It's gonna be interesting next monday at my next therapy appt to tell my therapist I started, when last session I said it would be a few months before I could get an appt, but I think she'll understand. I already feel myself tearing up writing this, so its certainly a good thing I started therapy before starting T.
In other news, I updated my layout yesterday at work, it took way too long, and I only updated the last 4 blog posts, everything else will remain as it was, and will still be functional, just slightly different, I'll probably stick to this pattern of only updating the last 4 blog posts and the main pages when I change something, unless its a major change, like the light/dark mode, it's just too much work otherwise.
J wants to see my 'project', I'm apprehensive about it. I'm mainly keeping this record for myself, I don't expect many people to actually read through these posts, especially the more personal ones, and I certainly don't expect people I know IRL to read them, it feels a bit too vulnerable for me, even though I keep everything here pretty vauge and don't use any personal details. But I did order 2 QR code stickers that link to my site, one for my waterbottle and one for my laptop, so he, along with other people I know IRL, will find out eventually, might as well start getting used to that idea. And, like it's not that I'm ashamed of what I write here or anything, I'm quite proud of this site actually, it's just intimidating to 'expose myself' to the people important to me in this way. The stuff I talk about here I don't really get a chance to talk about elsewhere, even thoug I wish I could. Idk, maybe it'll be a good thing, I mean, I usually talk to J about the things I talk about here anyway, at least most of them. I'll probably end up showing him later today or tomorrow, I might update this post with how it goes, idk.
Oh, update, I'm halfay through Che, I don't think I'll finish the last 3 books in 2 days, but thats why the lists are the way they are, it'll be fine.
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